One Year

Dear Ivy,
Your birthday has come and gone. Your neglectful mama has neglected to update your blog for nearly a month.... but that doesn't mean I love you any less.

On the three hundred and sixty fifth day of your life, I spent the day in a secret, emotional fog. Each minute I relieved what had happened a year ago. I remembered arriving at the hospital, getting my IV, waiting until after Guiding Light was over to get my epidural. It is absolutely amazing where a year can take you.

This year has taken you from a wiggling, sighing, drooling blob to a crawling, standing, stubborn toddler. Toddler. Not a baby. You definately have a mind of your own and you know how to use it. You explore every little thing you see.... you are so inquisitive and in turn, so intelligent. You are still a crawling machine. I have faith that you could walk if you wanted to, you just don't want to yet. You have the strength and coordination, but you lack the confidence. I hope this is the last time you lack confidence. You can do anything you want to do, Ivy.

This year has brought me to a whole new place, too. I don't shop for myself anymore.... I just want -you- to have everything. I don't sleep in anymore. In short, I've grown up. I truely realize that life isn't all about me.... now I think it is all about you. I think that being your mama has made me a better person. I never knew it was possible to love another human being as much as I love you.

Happy birthday, baby.

Love,
Mama