Nineteen Months

Dear Ivy,

Yesterday you turned nineteen months old. I look at you now and see a child where my baby used to be. You are changing so fast and in so many ways. Mobility is now a non-issue for you. Now that you have completely mastered walking, you've taken to running, walking on your tiptoes, walking backwards, and (my personal favorite) spinning in circles. You spin yourself dizzy then sit down and try to get back up. I think I laugh harder than you do, but you seem to find it fun.

You are signing and talking like crazy, too. I think you know every sign on the first three Signing Time videos (I wish the library would hurry up and get the rest of them!) and you are constantly jabbering. Today you said "yellow" (lellow) for the first time. I am always floored when a new word comes popping out like you've always known how to say it.

You love Elmo and Blue's Clues. I never wanted to be a parent that sits their child in front of the TV all the time.... but it's so hard when you come up and ask for particular things. You say "LALALALA" for Elmo (that's from the Elmo song), "coos coos" for Blues Clues (plus you do the little movement that Joe does on the TV when he says Blues Clues) and "DOODOODOODOO" for the Doodlebops. At least you know what you want. And when we say no, it's the end of your little world.

You are sick again. Last month you were sick, we beat it and you were back at the doctor's yesterday. While I really like Dr. Amy, I'd prefer to not see her so often! You are really congested and your chest is "junky", so we have to give you breathing treatments, Pediapred (a steroid to help you fight it off) and Singulair (to hopefully prevent things from getting worse or coming back once you kick this round). I hate giving you so much medicine, but I hate seeing you so miserable as well. I feel guilty that you are sick all the time, like maybe I'm not a good enough mommy or maybe it's something genetic. I know it's not my fault, but I can't help the guilty feelings. I think that's part of my job as a mommy.

Even when you are sick, you are a happy girl. You give everyone hugs and kisses. When I say everyone, I mean everyone.... from me to Daddy to the animals at Trina's, to the dirty clothes pile, you are definitely a giver. Who could refuse love from you, though? Not even the dirty clothes.

You've had a rough time sleeping ever since you spent a week with Grandma. I'm hoping this is just a phase, and I'm REALLY hoping it ends soon. You cry every time we put you down for a nap or bedtime. It's such a heartbreaking cry, too. It physically hurts me to hear you scream like that, but usually all it takes is one or two "Ivy, you're alright, go night-night"s and you lay down and go to bed. I don't understand why you need that extra reassurance, but I will gladly keep giving it you you.

I love you, honeybear.

Love,
Mama